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  • Going Home
    Posted on: 2008-12-08
    0GOING HOME
    By: D. B. Lewis

    The train roared through the mountains. The tunnels glowed from the locomotive’s bright headlights, while the shadows danced all around. The deafening noise echoed into the cold, blustery night.
    “It’s time for me to go, “ he sternly stated to himself. He looked up at the train stations clock. It was enormous. The black and bold vintage style Roman Numerals displayed the time of a quarter after nine. He reached into his coat pocket and felt his train ticket. He patted it. He thought about the year 1924, when he was just a kid. He rode the rails as a hobo for the first time. He never had a ticket back then. He chuckled. And, he continued to wait anxiously for his train to arrive.
    The train hugged every turn and curve on the tracks. The journey was long. But, the locomotive powered on. Its whistle blew. Smoke bellowed from its pipes, while the snow twinkled like stars as it fell from the moonlit sky.
    His thoughts drifted back in time. His memories appeared vivid, as if he was living them all over again. He was eight years old, when he and his parents traveled to Ecuador for the third and last time upon the request of the Ecuadorian Government. His father was a very well renowned civil engineer, who worked on devising a system of flood control for the River Jubones. He looked up to his father in so many ways. It was November 2nd, 1918 that stood out in his mind the most. He and his mom stayed in a rented room over a carpenter’s shop in Pasaje to wait for his father. The noise from the shop resounded in his ears. His father returned, but was terribly ill. He contracted Yellow Fever in the jungle. They learned from the doctor, who attended to him, that their alarm clock stopped ticking at the moment of his death. Images continued to flash in his mind. There was Aunt May. She raised him in New York, while his mom found work in California. Oh, those trips across country to see her! He’ll never forget his first introduction to the “Hobo Jungle.” Small campfires nestled together in a gathering, but from a distance, it appeared to be points of light glowing like fireflies. What marvelous adventures by thumb and rail!
    A deep raspy voice announced the next train’s arrival over the loud speaker. This interrupted his thoughts. He was glad for that, as he noticed a sign, which read: “Last Chance Saloon.” He wandered in. Without saying a word, the bartender waved at him to come over to the bar, while pouring a glass of Jack Daniels, straight, for him. He nodded to the bartender and sat down on the oversized, swivel barstool. He held up his glass and joyfully remarked, “Cheers!”
    The lights in the bar reflected off the mirror and bounced between the various bottles of bourbon and whiskey. Visions of his adult life waltzed in his mind. His marriage lasted 62 years to the most loving, understanding, and patient woman he ever knew, and the one who kept him out of trouble. He realized now just how lucky he was! They raised three wonderful children. They had two sons, and the youngest of the bunch was a daughter. Although, they lost their oldest son, when he was just 34 years old, to cancer. He really never got over that loss, but how could he. He caught his breath for a moment. There was no doubt that he was a proud man, who loved his family. He grinned. Somehow, they managed to survive all the ups and downs of every day life.
    In a daze still from all the memories, he realized he had left the bar already. He shrugged his shoulders. And, he continued to walk down a long corridor. He knew his train arrived. He heard the whistle blow in the distance. What a delightful sound to hear!
    While he walked down the long corridor, it reminded him of his old office building. He spent all of his professional life there. He worked at Brookhaven National Laboratory in Long Island, New York for 23 years. He, like his father, was an engineer. Although, he was a self-taught man, as he never received any formal education. However, he did acquire his GED. After years of wanting and begging to, he and his wife moved to Texas in 1981, where his daughter lived with her family. He paused for a moment. Then, he strutted, like John Wayne. Finally, he could wear his cowboy boots and hat with bolo tie now and blend in with the crowd. He laughed gleefully at the thought. It seemed from that point on, he always followed his little girl and her family, as in 2002 he moved to Indiana. He beamed with happiness. He loved living close to his little girl, but more importantly, he loved the closeness and bond they shared, which extended to his granddaughter and her family. He turned the corner of the corridor. The bright headlights from the locomotive mesmerized him. The mighty train stood before him, while the steam swirled all around.
    With a tear in the corner of his right eye, he boarded his train. He sat down. The train conductor asked for his ticket with a wink and punched several holes in it. He wondered why. When he turned the ticket over, it read: “Welcome Home Jim.” He closed his eyes. He smiled. He was finally home.
    In Loving Memory of My Grandfather, James A. Hallock
  • THE SILENT EPIDEMIC Part Three of Three by D.B. Lewis
    Posted on: 2008-09-24
    October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Show your support by simply wearing the color purple throughout the month of October.


    Did you know…

    • • “Over 4 million women are victims of domestic violence annually.”
    • • “Every week 2 women are killed in domestic violence situations.”
    • • “30% of women killed in the United States, die at the hands of an abuser.”
    • • “Domestic Violence is the leading cause of injury to women.”



    These are even more unimaginable and devastating facts and figures from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the American Institute on Domestic Violence.


    Why do women stay? This is the biggest question always asked in bewilderment in regard to Domestic Violence. Let’s break it down from myth to fact. It’s called a victim-blaming attitude. Victims hear that they must like or need such treatment, or they would leave. Victims are told they “love too much” or have low self-esteem. The truth is no one deserves or likes being abused, no matter what their emotional state or self-image. The question that needs to be asked in bewilderment is “Why Do Men Abuse?” There are complex reasons for staying. Myth: Women can just leave an abusive relationship, if they really want to. Fact: Leaving may be the worst thing a woman can do. Abusers often escalate the violence when their partners attempt to leave. 75% of women sustain life threatening or serious injuries after leaving their abusive partner; some are even killed.


    There are other barriers that women face in leaving an abusive relationship. Lack of Resources. Many women aren’t employed outside the home. Their abuser’s control and dominance will not allow it. So, many women lack financial security. And, many women have at least one child and they greatly fear losing their child. Institutional Responses. Clergy and secular counselors are often trained to “save” the marriage rather than stopping the violence. Police officers often don’t provide support to women. They treat violence as a domestic “dispute,” instead of a crime. And, police officers may try to dissuade women from filing charges. Prosecutors are often reluctant to prosecute cases, and judges rarely levy the maximum sentence upon convicted abusers. Despite the issuing of restraining or protective orders, there is little to prevent a released abuser from returning and repeating the violence. Simply stated, there aren’t enough shelters, support, or money to keep women safe; nor is there any formal education/training on domestic violence. Those are the sad facts.


    Another barrier that women face is Traditional Ideology. Many women are socialized to believe that they’re responsible for making their marriage work. Failure to maintain the marriage equals failure as a woman. Many women are taught that their identity and worth are contingent upon getting and keeping a man. Many women become isolated from family and friends by trying to hide the signs of abuse. Many women rationalize their abusers behavior by blaming stress, alcohol, problems at work, unemployment, financial problems, and other various factors. And, the abuser rarely beats the women all the time. There is a mix of good times, love and hope along with control, fear, manipulation and intimidation. It’s called the “honeymoon phase.”
    There are signs to look for before actual or potential abuse. Did he grow up in an abusive family? Does he tend to use force or violence to “solve” problems? Does he treat others rough by using physical force? Does he have a quick temper? Is he irrational, unstable? Does he abuse alcohol or drugs? Is he jealous of other relationships, friends, and family? Does he have weapons or access to any? Does he expect people to follow his orders and advice? Does he become angry when he doesn’t get things his way? Does he go through highs and lows? Does he act like two different people, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Do people fear and avoid him, especially when he gets angry?


    There are basic warning signs of abuse. The most obvious signs are evidence of severe, recurring, or life threatening abuse, like repeated bruises or broken bones. Psychological battering, where one partner continuously degrades or belittles the other with verbal abuse, uses intimidation, dominating, terrifying, rule-making behaviors to control and manipulate the actions of their partner and children. Abusers display jealousy and isolate their partners. Abusers use the legal system to punish their partners and to try to regain control with long, hard, and expensive court battles. Abusers use custody and visitation issues to try to regain control over their partners.


    There is no excuse for domestic violence. It affects each person, each community. It may take caring intervention to end the cycle of violence. It may take your involvement to make a difference. Educating yourself about domestic violence may seem very simple, yet it’s a large piece of the solution. Understanding domestic violence and how to recognize it, in both an adult victim and the silent victim, the child, can help break the cycle of abuse.


    We all need to take steps to end domestic violence, which plagues our society. Please volunteer your time, support your local shelter, and continue getting educated.
    HELP STOP THE VIOLENCE NOW!!!

  • THE SILENT EPIDEMIC, Part Two of Three By: D.B. Lewis
    Posted on: 2008-08-25
    Let’s continue to get educated on Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence affects everyone; no one is exempt, not even the future.

    Did you know…
    • “It costs an estimated $67 billion annually in the United States alone.”
    • “Up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.”
    • “94% of men in jail are witnesses or victims of domestic violence.”
    • “1 out of every 4 girls will be abused by the time they reach the age of 18.”
    • “40% of teenage girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.”

    These are just some more powerful and hard-hitting facts and figures from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the American Institute on Domestic Violence.

    Domestic Violence costs billions of dollars annually. Employers lose $5 billion every year in absenteeism, lower productivity, higher turnover and health and safety costs. Businesses lose an additional $100 million in lost wages, sick leave and absenteeism. It costs the nation $5 to $10 billion each year in medical expenses, as well as police and court costs, shelters and foster care.

    Domestic Violence and Child Abuse are related. Again, up to 10 million children a year witness domestic violence in the home. This means, these children are in serious emotional and physical harm. Even if they haven’t seen the violence first-hand, they “feel” what is going on. Children are greatly affected by domestic violence. Children are the silent victims. Children from violent homes are more vulnerable to being abused themselves: 70% of children are victims of physical or sexual abuse, and neglect and 5% of children are hospitalized due to the abuse. (American Institute on Domestic Violence) A child’s exposure to domestic violence is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next. They often become perpetrators of violence or victims as adults. It’s simple and plain to see – if the cycle isn’t stopped, it’s passed down to the children. Thus, the cycle of abuse continues.

    Children from violent homes are affected in all areas of their lives. They have behavior and health problems. They have difficulties in school: lack of concentration, excessive absences, and poor performance. Plus, their home environment isn’t conducive to studying. And, they have difficulties in relationships. It’s very hard for them to trust others. They display overly aggressive or passive behavior. They have difficulty problem solving. They have poor anger management skills. The list goes on and on. It’s understandable for children to think that violence is “normal” because they grew up with it. Again, the cycle of abuse continues.

    Why do men abuse women? Many theories have been developed. Some are: family dysfunction, inadequate communication skills, provocation by women, stress, chemical dependency, lack of spirituality and economic hardship. However, these theories aren’t the causes. These theories are simply associated with abusing women. Removing these factors will not end men’s violence against women. The abuser begins and continues his behavior because violence is an effective method for gaining and keeping control over another person. Plus, there are no consequences for abusers. Historically, violence against women has not been treated as a “real” crime. This is evident in the lack of severe consequences, such as incarceration or economic penalties. Abusers are not held accountable or ostracized in their communities, even if they’re known to be abusive. And, abusers are not held responsible for anything.
    Here are some characteristics that fit a general profile of an abuser. Abusers objectify women. They don’t see women as people or respect women. Overall, they see women as property and/or sexual objects. Abusers have low self-esteem, and feel powerless and ineffective in the world. They may appear successful, but inside they feel inadequate. They externalize the causes of their behavior. Therefore, they blame everything on others. Abusers may be pleasant and charming between periods of violence, called the “honeymoon phase.” And, they are seen as a “nice guy” or “prince” to outsiders. Some behavioral warning signs include: extreme jealousy, possessiveness, bad temper, unpredictability, verbal abusiveness, and cruelty to animals.

    Myth versus fact….Why do women stay?....
  • THE SILENT EPIDEMIC, Part One of Three
    Posted on: 2008-07-28
    By: D.B. Lewis


    Lately, there have been numerous news stories circulating the airwaves regarding domestic violence and women. Some of these stories, which include murder, have even happened near our own neighborhood, right in Indianapolis. Even though October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it is time NOW to stop the violence and take a stand, for everyone’s sake.


    Did you know…
    • “1 out of every 3 women will be affected by domestic violence in their lifetime.”
    • “Every 9 seconds a woman is beaten in the United States.”
    • “Every 60 seconds a woman is sexually assaulted in the United States.”
    • “80% of women have been psychologically battered at one time in their life.”
    These are just some of the staggering and mind-boggling facts and figures from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the American Institute on Domestic Violence.


    Unfortunately, domestic violence is an epidemic that plagues today’s society. It affects everyone in society, not just the survivor. One way everyone can help is by getting educated on this issue, and to rethink old stereotypes. So, let’s begin.


    What is Domestic Violence? It’s a pattern of assaulting and controlling behaviors in which the abuser establishes and maintains power and control over their partner through fear and intimidation. It’s not just a single event, such as a slap on the hand or a heated argument. The violence doesn’t stop or go away; it increases in frequency and severity over time. It can even kill. It isn’t confined to “certain groups.” Any woman can experience abuse, regardless of race, class, ethnic or religious background. And, abusers come from all groups and backgrounds too.


    What forms of Domestic Violence are there? There is Physical Abuse. It often begins with what is excused as trivial contacts, which escalate into more frequent and serious attacks. It includes any assault or aggressive behavior including: restraining, pushing, slapping, pinching, punching, kicking, biting, shoving, throwing, choking, breaking bones, to the use of weapons. It can range from bruising to murder. There is Sexual Abuse. Physical attack by the abuser is often accompanied by, or culminates in, sexual violence. It’s when a woman is forced to have sexual intercourse with her abuser or take part in unwanted sexual activities. No means NO. There is Psychological Abuse. Abuse begins here than escalates to forms of physical and sexual abuse. This form of abuse is the worst and most severe. Words are much more powerful than someone’s fist. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Words do hurt! Unlike physical abuse where the scars heal and fade away, these scars don’t; they stay a lifetime. This is also more than verbal and emotional abuse. It can include constant verbal abuse, harassment, crazy-making, excessive possessiveness, isolating the woman from family and friends (social abuse), deprivation of physical and economic resources (financial abuse), and destruction of personal property and pets.


    Domestic Violence affects everyone, even the future….
  • LET FREEDOM RING
    By: D.B. Lewis
    Posted on: 2008-06-23
    The Fourth of July commemorates the adoption of the Declaration of Independence, dated 1776. We celebrate this holiday with great patriotism, by magnificent displays of fireworks; parades; picnics and barbecues. It's all about Old Glory - the Red, White, and Blue - Our Freedom.

    This July 4th holiday has sparked something inside of me, along with the continued controversy surrounding the war in Iraq and with the continued hoopla among the presidential candidates. That something is called Patriotism.

    By definition, patriotism means love of and devotion to one's country.

    It's that simple. However, it probably means so many different things to each one of us, depending on our culture, upbringing, background, and experiences.

    For me, patriotism is all encompassing to the very air I breathe. I was born and raised in an Air Force Family. My father served our country for 23 years; he retired as a Lieutenant Colonel. Now, I am married to a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army National Guard. My spouse just returned home from serving a year in Iraq. My spouse has served our country for almost 25 years. With only less than 4% of this country serving in uniform, I am proud and honored that my spouse and father are among our nations elite.

    None of us will ever truly understand the call and desire to duty that certain men and women have in serving our country. And none of us will ever know what our American Soldiers endure, when they put on that uniform and stand strong, tall and proud in serving our country. However, we are all too familiar with the sacrifices, regardless of who we are. This is because everyone and everything in life is interrelated. We are all connected to each other. It's a ripple effect. It begins with the soldier; then to their family; to their kids; to their extended family; then to their neighborhoods and communities; then to their teachers and schools; then to their employers and other employees - and so it continues on. No one is exempt.

    We, the people, must never forget that if it weren't for these men and women, we wouldn't be a free and powerful nation, called the United States of America. Let's not take our freedom for granted or any of the people protecting, defending, and fighting for us, and for our country.

    Let's face it. No one is for war. But each and every one of us should be without a doubt for our brave men and women, fighting for our country and everything our great nation stands for!

    For the rest of us, we are in and among the silent ranks - the ones who wear no military uniforms; fire no weapons; or put our life on the line for our country. But, we too shall and must stand strong, tall and proud. We are Americans!

    GOD BLESS AMERICA!
  • WITH LOVE II
    Posted on: 2008-05-28
    By: D.B. Lewis

    The month of June means summertime! It’s about being with family and friends. It’s all about being outdoors…playing…swimming…having barbeques and picnics and so much more. It’s also about Fathers everywhere. And so to honor and commemorate fathers and forefathers, Father’s Day is celebrated in June.

    There are several possible driving forces behind the establishment of the integration of Father’s Day. The first modern Father’s Day celebration was held on July 5th, 1908 in Fairmont, West Virginia. Grace Golden Clayton, who is believed to have suggested the service to the pastor of what is now known as Central United Methodist Church, was inspired to celebrate fathers after a deadly mine explosion in nearby Monongah the prior December. This explosion killed 361 men, many of them fathers and recent immigrants to the United States from Italy. Another possible inspiration for the service was Mother’s Day, which had been celebrated for the first time two months prior in Grafton, West Virginia, a town only 15 miles away.

    Perhaps the best inspiration for Father’s Day came from Mrs. Sonora Smart Dodd. Her father, the Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart, was a single parent who raised his six children in Spokane, Washington. She was inspired by Anna Jarvis’s efforts to establish Mother’s Day. She initially suggested June 5th for Father’s Day, the anniversary of her father’s death. However, she didn’t provide enough time for the organizers to make arrangements, so the celebration was deferred to the third Sunday of June. Therefore, the first June Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19th, 1910 in Spokane, Washington. It’s hard to believe that Father’s Day wasn’t officially recognized until the presidency of Richard Nixon in 1972.

    A Father is a provider, a protector, a confidant, a hero, and so much more. However, Anne Geddes said it best: “Any man can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad.” Father’s Day is that special day to honor and celebrate those extraordinary men who we call “Dad.” It’s a time to say “I Love You” and “Thank You.” And, it’s a time to remember and reflect on what our fathers and forefathers have done for us and what they have sacrificed for us, especially those serving in our military to protect our freedom and liberties; and for those who gave their life for us and our country.
    HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO EACH OF YOU AND THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO!!!!!
  • “WITH LOVE”
    Posted on: 2008-05-05
    By: D.B. Lewis


    So many thoughts and visions come to mind when someone thinks about the month of May. Flowers are blooming. Trees and plants are budding. Sweet aromas are filling the air. Birds are singing. The sun is shining. Another school year is coming to an end. Family vacations are being planned. Summer is just around the corner. But first, May is a time to celebrate and honor Mothers everywhere.

    The concept for a Mother’s Day started with Ann Jarvis, a young Appalachian homemaker in 1858. She attempted to improve sanitation through a Mother’s Work Day. She organized women throughout the Civil War (1861-1865) to work for better sanitary conditions and in 1868 she began to work to reconcile Union and Confederate neighbors. That inspired social activist Julia Ward Howe to write the Mother’s Day Proclamation in 1870, as a call for peace and disarmament. That attempt failed to get any formal recognition of a Mother’s Day for Peace. However when Jarvis died in 1907, her daughter, Anna Jarvis, started the crusade to found a memorial day for women. The very first Mother’s Day was celebrated in Grafton, West Virginia on May 10th, 1908. The celebration was held at the Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church, where Ann Jarvis had taught Sunday School. The building is now the International Mother’s Day Shrine, a National Historic Landmark. In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mother’s Day, as a day for American citizens to fly the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war.

    Mother’s Day is a very special day set aside on the second Sunday in May each year to celebrate and honor extraordinary women in our lives – both past and present. It’s a time to say “I Love You” and “Thank You” to those who we call “Mom.” It’s a time to remember and reflect on all that our Mothers have done for us, big and small, out of pure love.

    Mothers give so much of themselves and more to their children, to their family. They sacrifice daily for everyone else. They put everyone in their family first, before themselves. They work extremely hard either in the home, outside of the home, or both. They wear so many different hats and most of the times juggle ten things at once. They truly are the heart and soul of family.

    And please, let us not forget those Mothers who have paid the ultimate price and sacrificed for this country by losing a child in war – past or present. Let’s fly our American Flag on May 11th in honor of Mothers everywhere.

    HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO EACH OF YOU AND THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO!!!!!
  • GOOD NEWS TODAY
    Posted on: 2008-03-04
    By: D.B. Lewis

    Something occurred to me the other day, while I was watching the news. I never really gave it much thought until now. I actually did some critical thinking. The theory is that you don’t think about it, until you think about it. (Hey, my Purdue professors would be proud!)

    Close your eyes. Now, picture any newscast or any newspaper. Okay. What do you see? Let me guess.

    Someone talks about the war in Iraq. Someone tells about the latest casualty. Someone analyzes the split in the political parties. Someone mentions the government deficit. Someone discusses the bad economy. Someone shows concern on the energy crisis. Someone sends a warning on Global Warming. Someone kills somebody out of hate and anger. Someone goes on a shooting spree. Someone claims another innocent child’s life. Someone fails to protect the public yet again. Someone gets kidnapped, beaten, raped, molested, and/or tortured. Someone dies of a drug overdose. Someone buys out a corrupt employee. Someone commits a robbery. Someone burns down a building.

    Day after day and night after night, the headlines are the same. It doesn’t really matter what newscast you watch or what newspaper you read either. Nothing changes nor has it. Things have just gotten worse over the years.

    In 1983, there was a song that rings so true today. It’s: “Little Good News,” by Anne Murray.
    “I rolled out this morning
    Kids had the mornin’ news show on
    Bryant Gumbel was talkin’ ‘bout the fighting in Lebanon
    Some senator was squawkin’ ‘bout the bad economy
    It’s gonna get worse you see, we need a change in policy.
    There’s a local paper rolled up in a rubber band
    One more sad story’s one more than I can stand
    Just once how I’d like to see the headline say
    ‘Not much to print today, can’t find nothin’ bad to say’, because,
    Nobody robbed a liquor store on the lower part of town
    Nobody OD’d, nobody burned a single building down
    Nobody fired a shot in anger; nobody had to die in vain
    We sure could use a little good news today.
    I’ll come home this evenin’
    I’ll bet that the news will be the same
    Somebody takes a hostage; somebody steals a plane
    How I wanna hear the anchorman talk about a county fair
    And how we cleaned up the air, how everybody learned to care
    Whoa, tell me.
    Nobody was assassinated in the whole Third World today
    And in the streets of Ireland, all the children had to do was play
    And everybody loves everybody in the good old USA
    We sure could use a little good news today.”

    Is there any good news today? We sure could use some.
  • Second Rate By: D.B. Lewis
    Posted on: 2008-02-04
    Henrietta was staring at our family pictures on the table near the window. The afternoon sun streamed into the room through the open curtains. A ray of light hit a particular picture perfectly. It was as if God was highlighting it for a special reason. Looking at those pictures was all she ever did anymore. It seemed to be the only thing that sparked any hint of life in her.

    Before I stepped into Henrietta’s room, the doctor pulled me aside for the usual brief encounter. He told me the same thing every day, but it wasn’t necessary. We all knew she wasn’t getting any better nor would she. The Alzheimers was progressively getting more severe with each passing day. She was slipping away from us to a place no one could ever understand or possibly imagine. And there was nothing we could do, except watch our loved one be taken from us by this disease. It was like watching a magnificent sunset fade away into the horizon.

    It was getting harder to visit Henrietta every day. But somehow, through God’s grace, I managed the strength and patience. I entered her room the same way I always did – with a deep breath and a smile on my face.

    “Hi Mom! Isn’t it a beautiful day?” Mom didn’t answer. She seldom did.
    “I see you’re looking at our pictures. Isn’t this one of you with dad around the time you met?”

    Mom gently reached for my hand and put it in hers. “It was 1934, I think. When did I get married?” Mom seemed quite upset and worried, as she couldn’t remember.

    “Mom, you and dad were married in 1935. And yes, you met in 1934.” I noticed her eyes began to tear up. I wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad, or both.

    “Yes, it was at a dance in 1934!” It was like a ray of light shone through in the darkness of her mind. She acted like she was that young girl again. “I wore a beautiful chiffon, rose colored dress. It had a V-neckline in the front. Oh, and there was a big bow accent just below the V-shape in the back.” She continued to just stare at the picture of her and dad, while she talked. “I felt so grown-up and pretty in that dress. I just knew that night would change my life.” She started humming. “They played all the popular music at the dance.” Her body swayed. “Dance, jazz, and what was that new thing?” She paused briefly. “Swing. That was it. Oh, how I loved to dance!” She continued humming to what sounded like ‘Night and Day’ by Fred Astaire. I could actually picture her dancing with him, just like Ginger Rogers.

    Mom drifted back to silence for a moment. Her attention was still focused on that picture though. Her mood seemed to change. “I was with my girlfriend at the dance. We thought we were big stuff that night.” She chuckled. “I noticed a young gentleman and pointed him out to my girlfriend. Oh my, he was quite handsome. He was very tall and dressed so finely.” She chuckled again like a schoolgirl. “What was that song playing in the background? Let me think…oh yes! It was ‘Can You Take It?’ Well during the song, that young gentleman and his friend walked over to us. I was so excited; my heart was beating so fast I thought it would jump out of my chest.” She giggled. “They introduced themselves. I didn’t pay much attention to his friend though. I was focused on James. That was his name. However, he wasn’t interested in me. He seemed to have eyes for just my friend.” She shifted her body in the chair. “That was until James’ friend beat him to the punch and asked her to dance first. He seemed to be quite annoyed by that. So, he turned to me and asked me to dance instead. I accepted, even though it was obvious by his glaring stare at his friend that I wasn’t his first choice.” She looked down for a moment and then back at the picture. “While we danced to ‘All Of Me’, he couldn’t take his eyes off of my friend. But it was clear to me; my friend wasn’t interested in James. I knew this as she had already told me she liked someone else.” Her eyes began to tear up again. “After a while it became obvious to James that his heart’s desire wasn’t interested. So, we continued dancing. ‘Stormy Weather’ was one of the last songs we danced to.” The tears rolled down her face. “I didn’t know back then that my life would be so very different than what I had dreamed about. It would be just one heartache after another with James; that I would endure so much pain; that I would always be second rate with him, my own husband.”

    The room was silent. I had tears in my eyes, as I never really knew the whole story of how my parents met, at least from mom’s perspective. How my heart broke for her now knowing what I did. How everything from our past finally made sense to me in this one moment. I was so sad for her, but so happy she finally opened up after all these years. All I could do was shake my head, while my mind raced in putting all the pieces of our puzzled past together.

    Through her tears mom whispered, “I just wanted to be loved…I never was.”

    I held mom’s hands in mine. “I love you Mom. I always have. And there is nothing second rate about it. I’m so very sorry…for everything.”

    The afternoon sun in the room was fading. Mom leaned over to me. I held her as time passed quickly. Shadows replaced the rays of sunlight. The pictures danced on the table, like it was 1934 all over again.

    In Loving Memory of My Grandmother, Henrietta D. Hallock
  • LET’S GO GREEN
    Posted on: 2008-03-28
    By: D.B. Lewis

  • Life by D.B. Lews
    Posted on: 2007-12-21
    The start of a New Year is a perfect time for change. It has become synonymous with making New Year’s Resolutions. The standard list goes something like this:

    1. Quit (insert bad habit).
    2. Start (insert good habit).
    3. Repeat 1 and 2 as often as needed to complete the list.

    Then within a few weeks, promises are broken. Excuses are made. And, the list is completely forgotten until the next New Year. Of course, this is so easy to do, because real change takes commitment, hard work, and sacrifice. It means taking the hard road to a better life, when everyone else keeps following the easy road.

    Well, it’s time! It’s time for a change not only within each of us, but for the world around us. It’s simple and easy to do – just take one step at a time and keep moving forward! It just takes one person to start and then watch the domino effect take place. Here are some ideas to try:

    1. Grow in your faith/religion.
    2. Respect yourself and others.
    3. Be a better person – spouse, parent, (insert role).
    4. Be loving, kind, forgiving.
    5. Be accepting and tolerant of others, regardless of differences.
    6. Help others.
    7. Learn from everyone and what the world offers.
    8. Dedicate yourself to a cause – stand for something! (Or you might fall for everything.)
    9. Count your many blessings.
    10. Always believe….anything is possible!

    No one said change would be easy. So hang on, as it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

    But the good news is that no one has to endure it alone. We are all in this together – this wondrous gift of LIFE.
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